The hard part of dating
Truthfully, there are many, many hard parts of (online) dating. Here are some:
1. Writing a dating profile.
2. E-mailing with strangers. (This part doesn’t really get any less awkward. Sending an e-mail when you don’t know the person’s name is a unique online dating phenomenon.)
3. Dodging the creepers. (They exist. See here.)
4. Scheduling a date with someone. (Students are busy! I wake up before 5 a.m. two days a week. Guess what: sleep > stranger.)
5. Putting on the war paint, picking out the outfit, and showing up on time to meet a stranger in person. (Thankfully, enough dates and I’m over that whole handshake-hug dilemma [hug] and the old “what if I don’t recognize him in real life?” [you will] and the forever amusing “do I get there first or second?” [be yourself and if in doubt, just send a text]).
6. End of the date goodbye. (I’m shockingly good at dodging kisses.)
7. What to do if they ask you out again and you’re not interested.
It’s bound to happen more often than not. Sometimes there’s just no connection there, and sometimes one person realizes this and the other person doesn’t. So what do you do when you get the very nice text from the overall very nice person who wants to see you again?
This isn’t a question to which I have a good answer. In my heart of hearts the answer is obviously to nicely decline. But how do you let the person know that it’s honestly not personal, even though by definition, it is?
No one wants to hurt feelings or get their feelings hurt. Honestly is always the best policy. But I think for most of us, biting that bullet is really tough. Especially when there’s no nice excuse (timing, holidays, schedule, dating someone else…).
So, please help me draft the response to this text:
“Hey! I had a great time the other night. I’d love to see you again, let’s figure something out!”